I have been talking about creating a website for about 5 years now. Having a background in graphic design, I felt like I could do it. Then I kept not doing it, until now. Once I started designing my website, I came to the conclusion that it’s a lot like grade school. At first you are nervous but once you get there it’s not as scary as you thought it would be. Sure, you cry and feel insecure and vulnerable, but eventually you learn new things, make new friends and you know that one day it will be over, and you never have to play Red Rover or Dodgeball again.
Now, just because I have a degree in graphic design and many years of work experience in the field does not mean I can seamlessly whip up a website. We didn’t even get a computer lab in college until my senior year. We didn’t have “digital media” when I was growing up, we had rotary phones, and 8-track tapes. I stuck with the design side of things, not the digital implementation of said designs. Regrettably, I relied on my younger co-workers to implement such things.
The simple act of deciding on a platform took lots of research and months of asking other people their thoughts on the subject. Sadly, my very comprehensive analysis balanced out so there was no real frontrunner. I pulled the trigger on a platform and that led to exactly two years of owning a domain and paying a monthly fee for a website that didn’t exist.
As I “jumped” (using that word very loosely) in, I realized I was going to have to learn new stuff that I know nothing about, watch a lot of tutorials, and go through a lot of trial and error. Phrases like “aspect ratio”, “link lists”, “Search Engine Optimization” and the super-duper scary word “code” had me wondering why I thought this would be a good idea. I decided to look at other store’s websites to see how they were doing it. That was incredibly helpful on the one hand, however then I slipped down the rabbit hole of “how are these people doing this?” They all had beautiful photos, amazing product, perfect branding…how is this possible?
I was jumping to a lot of conclusions about people I don’t know. In my defense, those conclusions were mostly positive, like “wow, they have it figured out, they are amazing, they make it look so easy, look at them kicking it in the d@*%.” Basically, an endless list of positives for them which resulted, many times, in a very different endless list for me. I’m sure you can guess the contents of that list. But I kept going, one teeny tiny step after another and I kept telling myself “this does not have to be perfect; this just has to be.”
Am I frustrated daily? Yes. Do I keep at it? Yes. I’ve learned a bunch of technical stuff but more importantly, I’ve learned that I can do it! I can face my fear of failure and my nagging addiction to procrastination and make this happen. I can do it in my own voice, with my own product, in my own way.
I remind myself every day that the main reason I want to have a business is to encourage people to discover their authentic selves, to be brave, and to love themselves the way they are. Do I understand the irony of the last sentence and the way I make myself feel sometimes? Yes, yes, I do. Putting myself out there is a vulnerable place to be but the (not so) simple act of doing it has empowered me to do my best and be ok with being vulnerable.
To all of the other small business owners out there, I have a ton of respect for what each of you brings to the table. To all of the graphic designers, photographers, stylists, social media specialists, and creatives in all genres, thank you for doing what you do and helping those of us that don’t do what you do.
So even though this might leave a mark...red rover, red rover, send the next challenge right over!
XOXO-
Mel